Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Chance's LiveJournal:

Sunday, July 29th, 2001
2:30 pm	I'm BACK!!! After a four month period of pure insanity spent in a literal liveing hell i am finally back home trying to become myself again. JUSTIN!!! you rock. any way folks im back and well thats about it i suppose but here is my new and hopefully final email address for a while any way till i get bored of it HA! it's smegghead56@aol.com give me a write some time and ill be glad to say moo! (Comment on this)
2:30 pm	I'm BACK!!! After a four month period of pure insanity spent in a literal liveing hell i am finally back home trying to become myself again. JUSTIN!!! you rock. any way folks im back and well thats about it i suppose but here is my new and hopefully final email address for a while any way till i get bored of it HA! it's smegghead56@aol.com give me a write some time and ill be glad to say moo! (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 18th, 2001
1:13 pm	9 days left folks well as the title imoplys there are only 9days left of my chance's freedom. as im sure you all know im shipping off for the army here on the 26th. wow i cant believe that it is getting this close and here i am not really een ready for it. i think that the reality of it is finnaly setting in ya know? well any way i just figured i would update again before i left this is a quick one i will say a final fare thee well before i take off. talk to all of you lovely people later, the 200 pound leemur! (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 11th, 2001
2:34 am	15 days 15 days till i leave. the reality of what i have gotten myself into is setting in. i have esentially signed my life away for the next four years. i mean i dont regret it, just as a saying i like "never regret the things you have done, regret the things you havent done." it pertains here im not regreting joining the army how ever had i not i would regret it. but like i said the reality of it is setting in. If you want to get right down to it i have given up some of my freedom so that i can fight for the rest of the countrys. when think of it that way it gives me a sense of pride and heroism in a way. i mean im fightin so that you have the right to burn our flag if you wish to. yet people oppose the millitary, people put it down. i dont understand that i mean yeah i know that if they wish to say that then its their right but if it wasnt for people like me they wouldnt have that right.people bitch about the government and yes i know that it isnt perfect. yes i know that it has its flaws. yes i know that some of the guys that hold political office are total fuck ups, but i wouldnt want to live ayn where else. i dont know i guess im just a patriot in some ways. well i guess thats all for now ill talk to you lovely people later. (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 25th, 2001
2:05 am	i suppose its time i think its time i update again huh? well not much has changed in my life really, the woman situation still sucks ass not meeting any one that is worth a damn. there are a few that i think about and im sure they know who they are but i doubt that any of them would ever want to be more "than just friends" i get that all the time and it pisses me off. i mean if im a gentalman and a nice guy and all that why am i always shut out by the women folk? any way enough about that. on a more happy note i leave march 27th for the army! i know that to come this is kinda depressing cause the stubbsmeister wont be there to shoot the shit with and hang out with and give my little nuggets of joy to but you know every one has to move on i cant be the resident heelp guy forever. so im going in basic will be hell but ill get through it then off to arizona for my ait. im happy about that it took a lot of hard work to make weight had to loose about 20 pounds or so and it was tough but i did it yay for me. i just want to take a minute to say some things to certain people. justin, man you have been a good friend to me for a long time man, im gonna miss you when im gone, i already know your advice, "dont get dead, and dont forget rich people are dicks" and man always try to get those cinnamon rolls! haha. Angie, hey i know that in school we didnt talk much which is a damn shame in my eyes but in these last couple of months i think i have gotten to know you better, although you may not miss me a whole lot while im gone i know ill miss my late night talks with you on the net. seems no matter whats wrong with me at the time your there when i need to talk to someone you know and seems you always know what to say to get me out of a dark mind set and back into a hey everything is good with the world again. Scptt even though i know you probably wont ever read this i just wanted to say thanks for always beening like a brother to me man, you have always been there for me through good and bad times, survived a huge ordeal with me and hey i hope you and darci have happy days for a long time together. Regina hey you know your poetry rocks a hell of a lot better than mine! im going to miss talking to you on here and im going to miss your poetry. im also going to miss haveing someone i know that feels the same way about life as i do. Reg stay cool as hell and keep on writeing! and keep smileing :). for every one i missed im sorry i didnt mention you guys specific but you know i love ya and im going to miss you all. every onejust remember that because im leaveing for the big army it doesnt mean im falling off the earth! ill keep in touch if you leave me your address so i promise i will write if you promise to write back. and to all my buds in the big b ill be back and sexier than ever haha and trust me ill be around every now and then so look forward to it! well i suppose this is good bye to some and hello to a whole new life. loev ya all! the 200 pound leemur (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 6th, 2001
8:44 pm	update well on the request of reg i am updateing. its been a while but not a lot has changed really. my car broke which pisses me off but there isnt a whole lot i can do about it. i suppose it doesnt matter really considering im leaveing in 3 weeks any way. my woman situation still sucks ass. i havent gotten any in over 7 months. i cant even get a date and seems all the nice people live no where near me. i have been just hanging out with jon a lot biding my time till i get the fuck out of this hell hole i like to call home. but i suppose nothing major is happening to me. ill just be glad to the hell outa dodge so to speak. i think the army will be the best thing to happen for me even though i know im going to miss all my family and all that biz. but any way reg there you go i updated just for you now you cant be pissed off at me any more. talk to every one later. the 200 pound leemur (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 23rd, 2001
11:15 pm	depression sorry i havnt updated in a while but i have as the title says been in a depression again. any way this time it seems like every thing is comeing in all at once. the whole army thing, my parents booting me out of the house, every thing just seems to be pressing down on me really hard and i dont know how long my shoulders will hold out without some help. and to top it all off it seems that i have finally found someont that i would have a healthy relstionship with for once instead of all those fucked up ones i have had in the past and i know that it will never work. for too many reasons, one she lives in georgia, two we are both going into the millitary and into different braches none the less. the are other ones but writeing them down at this time will just depress me even more. i dont think ill ever find someone to spend my life with, hell id even settle for someone that i spent only a couple of years with , but something i mean seriously throw me a frikkin bone here. i just dont get it really i mean im starting to think that there is something seriously wrong with me, like there is a huge damaged merchindise sign hanging above my damned head. i mean i know i not the most atractive guy in the world but ladies always tell me about how sweet i am to them and what a wonderfull guy i am, yet why is it none of them want to get into a fucking relationship with me? i dont understand it at all and it is starting to drive me nuts and make me worry that ill be alone forever. i guess im just destined to be a loner through out my life. but oh well i suppose fate is fate. i just hope that this whole army thing goes well for me so that i can at least enjoy myslef for the next four years and maybe get a grip on reality. well if any of you people read this and have any advice for me at all feel free to tell me because i think im at the bottom of the bin in life and in idea's. well goodnight to all, the 200 pound leemur. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 20th, 2001
12:50 pm	a more light hearted poem because someone i dont know who says im depressing! :) monkey monkey monkey in a tree, monkey monkey monkey jumped down on me, hey! monkey! i say monkey why wont you go away? maybe if i give you a peanut, now go away i mean it! ok ok you can come home with me, just make sure that you dont pee, all over every thing, because then i would be pissed, and i might just have to give you back to the zoo. thank you thank you, the 200 pound lemur (2 Comments |Comment on this)
12:35 am	its like a light i realized something last night, it came to me bright as a light, i found after some long thinking, that my life means nothing, i amount to about a pile of shit, and if i were to get hit, by a fucking truck right now, that no one would care, so this leaves me here, siting haveing a beer, knowing that i dont have any burden, so to every one reading, take a look around, what do you amount to, does your life mean shit? if the answer is no, dont worry about it, live your life for you, makeing sure others have no clue, and be happy above all else, for this is true freedom. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 17th, 2001
7:28 pm	more poetry requested by justthisgirl I think to myself on this late night, what is the point of the fight? Is it a matter of wrong and right? A sense creeps up one of fright, do people simply not see the light? It is like a horrid blight, that sweeps through the land with such might, killing all that are in it's sight, so ask yourselves sometime tonight, does death and war justify what you think is "right"? (Comment on this)
7:13 pm	never trust a monkey One time i hired a monkey to take notes for me in class, i just sat there with my mind a compleate blank while the monkey scribbled on little peices of paper. at the end of the week the teacher said "class i want you to write a paper useing your notes" so i wrote a paper that said "hello my name is bingo i like to climb on things, can i have a bananna? eek eek" i got an F. When i told my mom about it she said "i told you to never trust a monkey." THE END (Comment on this)
7:10 pm	just a random thought independant films are those hippy movies that are about gay cowboys eating pudding (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 14th, 2001
11:23 pm	a poem from my darker times in life (title is prison) As I lay here, bound to this place, a bed, a prison, a hell. Never again shall I see the beauty of a sunset. Or hear a bird cherp as i rise for another day. Damn this hell i live, fuck this prison that i canont escape. Ahh but there is one escape, to die, to die is to live. What is like confined to a bed? I think of my "life" and its meaninglessness. A small smile crosses my face as i take my last breath and escape my prison. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
7:33 pm	im thinking too much (a poem writen about 20 minutes ago) Thoughts run through my head tonight, of a girl i met last night. Her beauty is unseurpassed, I only hope that our friendship will last. Her kindness is second to non and when talking to her i have so much fun. So I write tonight to honor her, and hopw that she sees through the blue, and realizes she's the on im talking about, for in my mind there is no doubt, that she is truly wonderfull, and thought my life is compleatly dull, Whe brings a smile to my face, while i sit here in this lonely place, So thank you my dear, for makeing my vision once again clear. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
7:29 pm	im thinking too much (a poem writen about 20 minutes ago) Thoughts run through my head tonight, of a girl i met last night. Her beauty is unseurpassed, I only hope that our friendship will last. Her kindness is second to non and when talking to her i have so much fun. So I write tonight to honor her, and hopw that she sees through the blue, and realizes she's the on im talking about, for in my mind there is no doubt, that she is truly wonderfull, and thought my life is compleatly dull, Whe brings a smile to my face, while i sit here in this lonely place, So thank you my dear, for makeing my vision once again clear. (Comment on this)
2:49 pm	im bored moo and cinamon rolls. (Comment on this)
12:58 am	angie i found out tonight that a person from my town has a journal on here and i never really talked to her even though i went to school with her for two or more years. i find it kinda strage that i never talked to her when i had seen her almost every day in school yet now that i have read some of her personal thoughts i have started talking to her and i am enjoying it. you know im a real puss when i saw her almost every day in school i always thought that she was pretty and she seemed pretty nice but i never had the guts to just go up and talk to her. it kick myself for it now but you cant change the past. i think the is the first serious entry i have put in here. well any way i think i have taken up enough space here so far so im going to get going. if any one reads this feel free to give me some advice it would be greatly apriciated. se ya folks later on, chance (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 13th, 2001
11:34 pm	hi again every one well every one im back. abviously im bored again. my night turned out to be alright i got to talk to my best frined scott. hes in the navy and i dont get to talk to him a whole lot so tha was pretty enjoyable. i m really horny but no one wants to help me with my problem. but ahh such is life. any way im talking to this really nice chick i met tonight her name is jessica not that any one really care but you know just in case you want to know i suppose. thats great it starts with an earth quake birds snakes. great song folks. any way im done ranting for now so ill see yall later. word for now is wasssssuppppp. se ya (Comment on this)
3:28 pm	a new day well every one it is a new day come once again in front of my eyes. placeing before me many oppertunities for advancement in life and for fun etc.. although what did i do so far today? not a damned thing, well thats no entirely true i did fix a wall but that spent up only 3 hours of my day now i ask my self "self, what should we do with the rest of our day?" and my self replys "well chance i think we should go out and find some friends and do things with them" and i reply to my self "self im too damned lazy to do that so how about we sit around the house and maybe update our journal?" and my inner self replys again to me "hey sounds like a good thing to me, to be truth full chance i really didnt feel like doing any thing any ways." so that puts me here online again where i immerse myself in a digital world that i control. a friend of mine just talked to me and thought it was important to tell me that she had sex for the first time last night, although i must admit thinking about her naked was a little bit of a thrill (i know im kinda perverted but what can you expect i havent had a relationship for a year) any way i was information i could have gone with out knowing. but all in all today will be a good day. i got a date for valentines day and maybe something will result from that? i can only hope. but i think im out of inteligent things to say so i leave you with the word of the day horny which as im sure many of you reading this are. so good day to you all i will come on again with rants and random thoughts for anyone that is intersted in my meaningless life. chance. (Comment on this)
12:20 am	first entry bear with me alright hi every one my name is chance and i am insane thats just some back ground info. lets see i singed up for this thingy here because a friend of mine told me about it and it seemed like a good way to do something when im bored or to rant or you know to come on and just be myself. now that i have that out of the way if any one wants to know my friend is justin he is cool and hes on here too his name is verucagonff and in his first entry he mentioned me and totally missed my point about the cinnamon rolls although i wont go into that right now because umm yeah.... any way tonight was unuassualy boring untill as of late when i got to talk to my honey beth she is an amazeing person i cant tell you too much about her because if i do then you may try to steal her from me but oh well your loss. i might go to a concert tomorrow with the big j man and that would rock but its not a for sure thing. any way i think i have ranted enough for tonight let me get back to every one tomorrow. oh yeah todays word is disfunctionall like my brain. well live long and umm something or another i forgot the rest of it/ any way have a nic day to quote a geniuos of a man!!!! foley is god! (Comment on this)